Hi, my name is Sarah Crimmins. At age 28, when my daughter was only 11 months old (in December 2008), I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive Breast Cancer.

Since then I have had a mastectomy of my left breast, gone through IVF, 4 months of Chemotherapy, 5 weeks of radiotherapy, hospitalised with meningitis and just recently in December 2009, I underwent a prophylactic mastectomy of my right breast with immediate reconstruction and a reconstruction of my left breast using the latissimus dorsi.

At the start of my cancer journey I spent hours on the internet searching for similar stories to my own and in particular, photographs of those women so I could gain an understanding of what I was about to go through and although I found some, I didn't find many.

This is the main reason for my blog. I wanted to be able to share my experience and photographs of my journey in the hope that it will help someone else with the decisions that they are about to face.

This is the story of the worst year of my life, from finding the lump all the way to my reconstruction surgery and beyond.........

Please feel free to post some comments, actually i would absolutely love it if you would xo

March 10' - Bali

Before i'd even had my reconconstruction surgery we knew that we needed to plan a holiday to help us to get over such a crappy year. So we organised to go to Bali. It was one of the best things we could have done. I feel guilty that we spent money which i would have made our life more comfortable later in the year, but it really was just what we needed at the time, so really the money doesn't matter.

Originally it was going to be just Mat, Macy and I but all of a sudden we found it becoming a 'Crimmins' holiday which was even better! I was so nervous and scarred about going back to work so it was a great way to get my mind off it and just forget about everything, especially the cancer. So the holiday was booked for March 2010. This would give me plenty of time to recover from my surgery and have a good holiday before heading back to work at the end of the month.

The place we stayed at was unbelievable - Villa Anggrek in Seminyak (picture below left is of our own private pool!) and it gave us the opportunity to spend a lot of time with mat's family. I must admit though, travelling with a 2 year old was not fun! Macy was still a bit funny with me and not really listening to what i'd say and not even really wanting to play with me or anything which was really upsetting. I guess she'd gotten way to used to me being sick and not able to pick her up or being too tired to be the 'fun one' so Bali was a bit of a struggle in that regard.

Mat organised for just the two of us to spend 2 nights in Ubud which was lovely. It really was like a second honeymoon and just what we needed. I'm not saying our sex life was nonexistent or anything but it certainly wasn't at its peak during the past year that's for sure. So this was a good way for us to reconnect i guess.

I had to be careful of my new scars while we were over there and with my skin i'm pretty careful about getting burnt but i was putting sunscreen on all the time because i had to be extra vigilant about not getting burnt. I found myself the perfect swimsuit which was a strapless one piece with a high back so it covered all of my scars. This meant i didn't feel selfconscious at all and i didnt have to worry about it getting burnt. I was dissapointed that i couldnt wear bikinis all the time though because finally for the first time in my life i have big boobs, but the scars on my back meant i shouldnt wear them (on the cloudy, less sunny days i wore one for a little while though :-).
Another great thing that i found on the holiday was that my energy levels were quite high toward the end of the trip and that felt fantastic. It went straight back to normal once we were home but while it lastest, it was great!!
Anyway, the purpose of this section of the blog is to put in your mind the idea of a holiday. During chemo my sister and brother in law took me away for the weekend which was great, but it was still hard because i didn't want them to have to look after macy for me but at the same time i was too sick to do all of it. But it was nice to have a change of scenery.
After the meningitis we went away for 3 nights just to re-coup and again, just to get away from everything but the holiday to Bali was fantastic and just what we needed. For months beforehand we had that to look forward to and it was worth every penny. Just recently i've learnt about a place called the Otis Foundation (www.otisfoundation.org.au) which is free accommodation for those with Breast Cancer needing to get away. I wish i had know about this earlier as i would have used it for sure but for those of you reading this, jump onto their website and get in contact with them! Get away when you can with those closest to you that you may be feeling at a bit of distance with. It will help with clearing your mind and allowing you to concentrate on the most important thing at the moment - you!
Posted by Sarah Crimmins

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