On Friday night, the 10th of September 2010 my family and I attended the Illawara Illumination Ball to raise money for a cure for Breast Cancer. Although the tickets were expensive ($170.00 a ticket) the room was full and it was a great night.
I was asked to speak at the event and although i was really nervous about it initially, once i started to write my speech I felt a lot more comfortable about it and in the end I really enjoyed doing it. It felt great to get up on stage and speak from the heart about my cancer journey and to have my family and closest friends there made it even more special.
Here's some photos of the night and my speech -
Good Evening Everyone,
My name is Sarah Crimmins and a year and a half ago my life was pretty normal. I was your average 28 year old with a beautiful 11 month old daughter, a wonderful husband, a dog and a mortgage.
But it turns out the lump i had been feeling on my left breast was not just a blocked milk duct from feeding my daughter, but something that would change our lives forever. I never would have thought that i'd be asking for a pair of nipples for my 30th birthday!
When you're first diagnosed, the thought of cancer and all of the treatment that you must go through to get past it is the most terrifying thing that you could think about. It's certainly not something that you can prepare yourself for, and each step is one that you have to take day by day, appointment by appointment and deal with the treatment one side effect at a time.
2009 may have been the worst year of my life but I’m here to tell the tale and that's all that matters. I'm here because of the fact that my cancer was detected early which is a similar story for my aunty who had just recently been diagnosed. It was because she was very vigilant with her mammograms (her husband had lost his mother to breast cancer a long time ago) that they picked up what they initially thought was a cluster of cells which turned out to be 4 times bigger than they originally thought.
We are both perfect examples of the importance of self examinations and regular mammograms.
I'll be honest with you though, this cancer journey sucks! There's not really any other way to put it. At the start of my journey i just kept thinking about how once the radiotherapy and then the reconstructions was over, I would be healthy and my life would go back to the way it was before.
But it's not that easy. One of the hardest lessons i've learnt through this is that it's just not that simple. I'm never going to be the same person i was before and neither will my wonderful husband, my twin sister and those closest to me.
The initial fear that i had of cancer has come and gone, but it's never going to go away. A headache is not just a headache anymore - it's the possibility of something else and it's scary as hell. You try not to assume the worst for something that could be so simple, but emotionally it's hard to shake that thought off.
I've been fortunate enough to have met 2 beautiful young ladies in similar situations to myself which has been a god-send. To have others that you can talk to that understand is absolutely invaluable and a vital part of getting through each day. You tend to automatically take out your frustration and anger on the person closest to you, and to have another means of being able to vent your feelings, by talking to those that truely understand how you feel is wonderful.
In addition to having a great support group, another vital part of getting through each day i found, was to try and stay positive as much as possible. It's hard at times, when you're at your lowest possible point - you're bald, tired, only have one boob and your 1 year old doesn't understand why mummy's too sick to play. But it's important to still try and smile each day even if it means having a laugh at your own expense. I remember one thing that used to make me giggle no matter what was the time Mat, Macy and I were on a car trip and Macy was really upset and we couldn't get her to stop crying - so i gave her my new 'boob' to play with. It kept her amused for hours and she loved it!
I wanted to take this opportunity to thank not only my family and friends that have helped me through the last year, but also to the wonderful people of the Illawara. Mat and I are so fortunate to have received support both emotionally and financially from everyone around us, even those we didn't know and seeing everyone here tonight, all fighting for a cure together is so heart-warming and I'm so proud to be here with you all tonight.
